Things I Know

Things I know:

  1. Whatever it is, if it’s important right now, write it down.

  2. LL Bean will accept any return. Seriously, anything that has at one time been purchased at an LL Bean is returnable.

  3. If you can learn to bake, it’s significantly easier to win people over.

  4. On that note, easy peanut butter cookies: 1 egg, 1 cup peanut butter, 1 ⅓ cups sugar; flatten with a fork in a # shaped pattern, sprinkle with extra sugar, bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes; take out of oven and leave on pan until cool enough that you can stand to eat them.

  5. It is helpful to know someone, be they a friend or partner, who gives good hugs.

  6. Be wary of people who flat-out dislike dogs.

  7. Be equally wary of people who dislike cooking competition shows.

  8. Therapy can be both incredibly helpful and incredibly painful, but overall it has been worth it so far.

  9. If you think you have something figured out, there is a 99.99% chance you do not.

  10. If something’s got you worked up, express it as soon as you find the courage.

  11. There is a blog post that will prove your point and a blog post that will entirely refute it. I will still, every time, think that I am wrong on account of the refuting post.

Things I still don’t know:

  1. How to sit down and get work done on my own time without rushing at the last minute.

  2. How to respond to “What’s good?”

  3. How to make my comedian acquaintances like me.

  4. How to not be scared of almost everything.

  5. How not to send Ryan 10 texts at a time like a crazy person.

  6. How much half-and-half is the tastiest amount to put in my coffee.

  7. How to get onstage and tell jokes.

  8. How to have an appropriate amount of food at a party.

  9. How to say what I mean and provide valuable feedback in poetry workshop period, let alone on a poem I don’t quite like.

  10. How to do laundry proactively, such that there are no clothes-related emergencies on laundry day.

  11. How to write a good, not contrived, not too low-effort, still funny, but not too funny, likeable, but not pandering… follow-up to my most-trafficked post so far.